Limericks

Sometimes even the LCWR can provide artistic inspiration:

There once was a sister named Sue,
Who didn't know what to do.
She took off her habit,
And married the abbot,
And said it was Vatican II.

And Sue, while teaching in pride,
To our children this nun would confide:
"It's only a meal,
And no big deal;
Develop the Goddess inside."

But soon Sue yearned to be free,
And so she went on a spree,
Now the abbot's her ex,
And she likes same-sex,
Approved, she says, by Vatican III.

And likewise Pray Tell:

There once was a liturgist named Ray,
Who would always forget to pray.
He took out the rail,
And one day will wail,
When Latin comes back to stay.

Cardinal Kasper:

There once was a Lutheran named Claude,
Who loved his heresy, so flawed.
He would not repent,
And to hell he was sent,
Because he refused to listen to God.

The author encourages his readers to contribute their own limericks on the thread. Share the love. Pass it forward.

Back to your regular dose of humour...

Back in the days when Anglicanorum Coetibus had been released but none of the Ordinariates had yet been set up, I did some internet research and noticed that the Episcopal/Anglican parishes that might come into the Ordinariate tended to describe themselves in similar ways online. The Muse then pushed a button and the following parody flowed from my fingertips.

Welcome to St Thomas of Canterbury Anglicatholic Church, where we’re formal, friendly, and faithful both to the Bishop of Rome and the Anglican tradition of worship.

On an average Sunday here at STCAC, the worshiper will find a great number of services to satisfy both his canonical obligation and Christian duty to worship God in the beauty of his holiness, decently and in order, at both the Divine Office and the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. For those who prefer to observe the traditional Eucharistic fast from midnight or who may need to work later in the day, we offer two low Masses, the first according to the Extraordinary Form of the Roman Rite at 5:30 AM and the other according to Sarum Use at 6:15 AM. While we have obtained permission from the Sacred Congregation in Rome for the lessons at these services to be read in the vernacular, such permission is superfluous for they are muttered so silently that no one can hear them. For those who prefer sung services, Matins or Morning Prayer begins promptly at 8:30 followed by the Great Litany in Advent, Septuagesima, Lent, and on other days of fasting or abstinence. At Matins and Lauds we typically follow Sarum Use translated into the hieratic style of the Prayer Book by the Reverend Palmer, but modified in accordance with Pope St. Pius X’s 1911 reforms of the weekly psalter. At High Mass which follows, we typically celebrate according to Sarum Use enriched with certain beloved prayers from the Prayer Book tradition, including the Prayer for the Whole State of Christ’s Church (always changing indifferently to impartially), the Comfortable Words, the Confession, the Absolution, and the Peace, all immediately after the Sermon, as well as Archbishop Cranmer’s Post-Communion. In times of penitence, the celebrant uses the Roman Canon in silence, whilst on other days he says a modified Prayer Book Canon, adding prayers for the Pope, the Sovereign, the Bishop, and the dead, as well as an elaborate and explicit epiclesis. We likewise typically follow the Roman colour scheme at these services, with the addition of blue vestments for feasts of Our Lady, yellow for feasts of Confessors, and ashen grey for Passiontide. High Mass is always followed by the chanting of the Angelus as well as prayers for the ascension of the House of Wittelsbach to the throne of St. Edward.

On most Sundays and Holy Days of the year, we reassemble as a community of faith for an organ recital at 4:45 PM followed by sung Evening Prayer or Vespers at 5:15 PM. This service usually follows that prescribed by the 1662 Prayer Book with an added first versicle for the Supreme Pontiff: God bless the Pope: And let not the Gates of Hell prevail against him. Benediction of the Blessed Sacrament usually follows. On those days when we add a solemn Compline after Benediction, the Nunc Dimittis at Evening Prayer is replaced either by the Phos Hilarion or the New Testament Canticle of the 1975 Liturgia Horarum taken from the Authorized Version. The clergy who assist in choir at our evening services always wear cassock, gown, tippet, bands, and catercap, in accordance with the tradition of the Anglican patrimony.

In addition to our weekly cycle of liturgies, our parish also enjoys a rich devotional life. On Wednesdays at noon, please join us for public recitation of the rosary. On Fridays throughout the year and all ferial days of Lent, we pray the Stations of the Cross at 3 PM followed by Evensong. On Fridays in Lent, thereafter follows a soup supper and book study. Finally, on Saturday mornings after Mass, our local chapter of the Archconfraternity prays a perpetual novena to both St. Philomena and St. Charles, King and Martyr. Because we are Christians in full communion with the See of Rome, Bible study is officially discouraged but not forbidden.

Childcare is available for all children under the age of five at the principle services each Sunday and major Holy Day. Those adults who feel called to volunteer in the nursery are encouraged to join our local chapter of the Confraternity of St. Nicholas of Myra, patron of children, harlots, and apothecaries. 

Because STCAC is a growing community welcoming of all people, we invite you to join us as we work together to build God’s Kingdom on earth. With your help, we hope in time to have more registered laity than clergy, staff, and paid choir members combined. 

Prayer for the Muslims, Part 3

A Prayer of St. Germanus of Constantinople

O most holy Theotokos, do thou hold the helm of the Church’s hierarchy, bringing them to quiet harbors, sheltered from the breakers of heresy and scandal. Clothe thy beloved priests with the festal garments of justice, joy, and a tried, inviolate, and earnest faith. In peace and progress, guide the scepter of the orthodox emperors who cling to thee above all purple and splendor of gold, above all jewels and precious stones, as to their diadem and royal robe and as to the most durable ornament of their kingdom. With divine might, overthrow the hostile, foreign peoples deceived by Mohamed, who cease not to blaspheme thee and the God born of thee, and stretch them prostrate at thy feet. In time of war give aid unto that army which ever relieth upon thine assistance. Endue those peoples subjected unto us with strength that they may persevere, according to God’s command, in the happy service of obedience unto us. With the triumphs of conquest, crown Constantinople, this city of thine own, whose tower and foundations thou art, with thy protection and strength. Amen.

(Migne PG 98: 307-310. This translation based upon the one given in Friethoff’s A Complete Mariology, p. 276)

Act of Consecration of the Human Race to the Sacred Heart of Jesus

Most sweet Jesus, Redeemer of the human race, look down upon us humbly prostrate before thy altar. We are thine and thine we wish to be; but to be more surely united with thee, behold each one of us freely consecrates himself today to thy most sacred Heart. Many indeed have never known thee; many too, despising thy precepts, have rejected thee. Have mercy on them all, most merciful Jesus, and draw them to thy Sacred Heart. Be thou King, O Lord, not only of the faithful who have never forsaken thee, but also of the prodigal children who have abandoned thee; grant that they may quickly return to their Father’s house, lest they die of wretchedness and hunger. Be thou King of those who are deceived by erroneous opinions, or whom discord keeps aloof, and call them back to the harbor of truth and unity of faith, so that soon there may be but one flock and one shepherd. Be thou King of all those who are still involved in the darkness of idolatry or of Islamism, and refuse not to call them all into the light and kingdom of God. Turn thine eyes of mercy toward the children of that race, once thy chosen people. Of old they called down upon themselves the Blood of the Savior; may it now descend upon them a laver of redemption and of life. Grant, O Lord, to thy Church assurance of freedom and immunity from harm; give peace and order to all nations, and make the earth resound from pole to pole with on cry: Praise to the Divine Heart that wrought our salvation; to It be glory and honor forever. Amen.

(Indulgence of 300 days, each time. Pope Pius XI, July 11, 1926)

Prayer for the Muslims, Part 2

Happily, it is not only the Anglican liturgical tradition that gives us beautiful prayers for the conversion of our enemies. Consider these Mass propers approved by Pope Paul VI for the Novus Ordo Missae:

Introit: Look upon the covenant and let the poor and needy give praise unto thy Name. Arise, O God, maintain thine own cause, and forget not the voice of them that seek thee.

Collect: O God, who in thy inscrutable providence desireth to bind together thy Church by the sufferings of thy Son; Grant to the faithful assaulted daily by persecution for thy Name’s sake, the spirit of long-suffering and charity, that they may be found witnesses, both faithful and true, of thy promises, through Jesus Christ our Lord, who liveth and reigneth with thee in the unity of the Holy Ghost, one God, world without end. Amen.

Super Oblata: Receive, we beseech thee, O Lord, our humble prayers and victims, and grant that they that serve thee faithfully, yet undergo the daily persecutions of men, may rejoice that they are bound together by the sacrifice of thy Son, and let them know and feel that their names are written in the Book of Life, with all thine elect in the heavens, through Christ our Lord. Amen.

Communion Anthem: Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake, saith the Lord. Rejoice and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven.

Post-Communion: By the might of this Sacrament strengthen the faithful in thy truth, O Lord, and grant to them hedged in on every side by tribulation, that carrying the Cross in the footsteps of thy Son, they may ever wax valiant and boast in the name of Christian, even in the midst of their persecutors, through Christ our Lord. Amen.

(Missale Romanum 1970, Votive Mass 15, Pro Christianis Persecutione Vexatis)

Of course, the extraordinary form of the Roman Rite also directs us towards the same end:

Let us pray also for the heathen that Almighty God remove the iniquity from their hearts, that they abandon their idols and turn unto the living and true God, and his only Son, Jesus Christ our Lord and God.

Let us pray. Almighty and everlasting God, who desirest not the death of a sinner but rather that he should turn from his wickedness and live, mercifully receive our prayer and free the heathen from the worship of idols and add them to thy holy Church, to the praise and glory of thy Name, through our Lord Jesus Christ, thy Son, who liveth and reigneth with thee in the unity of the Holy Ghost, one God, world without end. Amen.

(From Feria VI in Passione Domini)

Collect: Almighty and everlasting God, in whose hand are the powers of all rulers and the judgments of all kingdoms, regard the help of Christendom, that the heathen which trust only in their brutality may be trampled out by the might of thy right hand, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Secret: O Lord, gaze upon the sacrifice which we offer unto thee and deign to deliver all them that fight for thee from the wickedness of the heathen and keep them in the safety of thy tender care, through our Lord Jesus Christ...Amen.

Post-Communion: O God our defender, look and save all them that fight for thee from the menace of the heathen, that every trial and tribulation having been done away, they may serve thee with free minds, through our Lord Jesus Christ...Amen.

(From the votive Mass Pro Ecclesiae Defensione)

Prayer for the Muslims, Part 1

Contrary to what one would think, the Anglican Patrimony has actually produced quite a number of beautiful prayers for the conversion of the Muslims from the heathenish religion of Mohammed. Give the recent events in England, we must all redouble our efforts, prayers, and penances that the glory of Christ, God’s definitive answer to man’s problems, may dawn upon “the peoples that walk in darkness” and “the shadow of death.” The following are some jewels of English composition:

O God, who in thy wonderful providence orderest all things, we humbly beseech thee to snatch that land which thine only begotten Son hath consecrated with his own Blood from the hands of the enemies of the Cross of Christ, and restore it to Christian worship, mercifully directing in the way of everlasting peace the fervent prayers of the faithful to its deliverance, through the same Christ our Lord. Amen. (Sarum Use)

O merciful God, who hast made all men, and hatest nothing that thou hast made, nor wouldest the death of a sinner, but rather that he should be converted and live: Have mercy upon all Jews, Turks, Infidels, and Hereticks, and take from them all ignorance, hardness of heart, and contempt of thy word; and so fetch them home, blessed Lord, to thy flock, that they may be saved among the remnant of the true Israelites, and be made one fold under one shepherd, Jesus Christ our Lord, who liveth and reigneth with thee and the Holy Spirit, one God, world without end. Amen. (1662 BCP)

Almighty and everlasting God, who desirest not the death of sinners, but rather that they may turn to thee and live: Mercifully receive our prayer, and deliver the heathen from idolatry, and gather them into thy holy Church, to the praise and glory of thy Name ; through Jesus Christ our Saviour. Amen. (Canadian BCP)

O God, who hast made of one blood all nations of men for to dwell on the face of the earth, and didst send thy blessed Son Jesus Christ to preach peace to them that are afar off, and to them that are nigh: Grant that the people who sit in darkness and the shadow of death may feel after thee and find thee; and hasten, O Lord, the fulfilment of thy promise, to pour out thy Spirit upon all flesh; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. (Scottish BCP)

Almighty God, our heavenly Father, who in thy goodness hast caused the light of the Gospel to shine in our land; Extend thy mercy, we beseech thee, to the nations of the world that still walk in darkness. Enlighten the Moslems with the knowledge of thy truth; and grant that the Gospel of salvation may be known in all lands, that the heart of the peoples may be turned unto thee, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. (Scottish BCP)

Some advice to a friend in Canada

I sent the following message to a certain someone recently:

Dear Steve,

I don't think it's right or good that you're not married yet. Why don't you take out an add in a local newspaper that reads as follows:

A marriageable bachelor who makes $X/year seeks a nubile, callipygian, pneumatic woman. Must be a practicing Catholic under 25 who knows how to keep house and her place. Must love children and want to bear them. Ideally virginally intact.

If you don't know what nubile, callipygian, or pneumatic mean, look them up now. Their definitions will make you laugh. And because you live in Canada, a place with far too many transgendered folks, you may want to specify that you're looking for a female woman.

With Love,

Max

Today's Humour

We found this on AMU's Classic Department's website:

Not only do we have a robust core curriculum at Ave Maria University, but most of our students fulfill the language study requirement by taking Latin. A very considerable number – especially in light of the fact that we are a Catholic, not a protestant university – do Greek as well. 

http://classics.avemaria.edu/post/49096324957/universities-he-proposed-are-failing-students

To which we respond thus:

Insofar as Ave Maria University is a Catholic and not a Protestant institution:

...the administration does not permit earth-worshipping lesbian witches to put on sacerdotal vestments and to try to confect the Sacrament. It regrets that the Church even allows such persons to become nuns, and happily not for very much longer.

...all the choir members are paid, for this is not a Methodist endeavour.

...all students begin learning Latin before learning Greek, for the administration is most suspicious of the tendency of the lingua Gaeculorum to ferment heresy. Those who prefer Greek to Latin are officially warned by the Holy Inquisition that their views on various subjects are, if not erroneous, then at least unfit for pious ears.

...women are encouraged to wear unseemly chapel veils instead of hats, for hats are A) protestant; and, B) a potential incitement to distraction and thoughts of royal weddings at Holy Mass.

...the mandates of the federal government required by law are given the attention they are deemed to merit, and thus promptly disregarded.

...the "meat" served in the cafeteria never meets the canonical requirements for fleshmeats; wherefore, the University saves great sums of money and the whole university community observes perpetual abstinence.

...faculty members are regularly encouraged to aspire to the ideal of a Josephite marriage, yet also have a dozen children. Those whose families are less than six are privately accounted guilty of following the letter of Humanae Vitae, but not its spirit.

...female students are admitted, solely so that the University can remain financially solvent. Should the University's financial situation change, the faculty intend to become as exclusively male and patriarchal as the Roman Curia, the universe, and the most holy and undivided Trinity.

...faculty are not permitted to wear tweed, unless they are officially members of the Society of Charles, King and Martyr; in which case, they would never chose to wear tweed anyway.

Some Humour

The following is an edited version of a poem by a traditionalist Catholic on Facebook. Please pray for his intentions. 'Tis a pity that the poetry recited at President Obama's inauguration was not as good as this.

Woman is vain and Eve the world's woe 

for she corruption in Adam did sow; 

when he, seduc'd by that serpent-mouth'd coquette, 

did the seed of sin upon this world set. 

Yet, recall Lucrece, the fair maiden self-slain, 

who thought to live in sin's to live in vain. 

Where hath Dante placed her? Among the wise, 

for even God admir'd her fair eyes. 

And Catharine, the great daughter of Dominic, 

who taught St. Peter's son when he was sick, 

and mov'd the papal court of cheese, whores, and wine, 

and made it to feast on the things divine. 

And Hedwig, that oft forgotten wife saint, 

and she who did the Little Flower paint. 

And the mother of Dominic, Lady Jane: 

Who can say that that woman liv'd in vain? 

Whose blessed womb bore the mouth to conquer 

all the the ways of most pernicious error. 

Wherefore, some women wiser are, 

with radiance brighter than Phoebus' car; 

and not some ugly, pious, plain Janes I mean, 

who always in some Quaker dress are seen. 

No, I mean ladies both virtuous and fair, 

who rouge use and have well treated hair; 

but not so much time to that art is giv'n, 

that they forget that yet their soul is liv'n, 

but balenc'd 'twixt plain Jane and vain coquette; 

thou shalt have such if thou have patience yet. 

Make St. Joseph thy friend and to him pray 

that God give thee a blessed wedding day. 

Happy as Collantine shalt thou be-- 

Nay more! For he did not Our Lady see!

The Anglican Patrimony, Part II

First the Prayer Book. Despite the amount of dated rhetoric that one typically finds in Catholic circles regarding Anglicanism, any superficial perusal of the 1662 Prayer Book or one of its predecessors (e.g. the 1549 Book) or one of its pre-conciliar progeny (e.g. the 1928 American Book) will quickly surprise us with how Catholic it is. A history lesson is in order here. Catholics will typically say that Anglicanism began when Henry VIII led the English Church into open schism with Rome. That is only partially the case. While it is true that Protestants tried to use the schism to their advantage, the only thing Henry did to the Church in England was to declare himself the head of it and dissolve the monasteries. The rest of the Church’s medieval edifice, so to speak, was kept intact. Under the latter part of Henry’s rule, Lutherans and those who preached against mandatory clerical celibacy and monastic vows were often forced into exile or burned at the stake; those who preached against transubstantiation were tied, drawn, and quartered. The Latin liturgy remained officially unchanged for the most part (except that the Pope was no longer prayer for) and the iconoclasm which was to blaze under Bloody Bess (Elizabeth I) was officially discouraged except in a few rare instances. Things were so bad for the Protestant cause in England at the time that one Protestant remarked, “the King has gotten rid of the Pope, but not the popery.” Nevertheless, Archbishop Cranmer, who had come to power only by making the customary oath of allegiance to the Holy See, was able to implement two slight changes in the official liturgy. Three years before Henry’s death in 1547, Cranmer cum permissu regis published an English exhortation to prayer and an English litany to be used in processions.

Unfortunately, because the exhortation was novel, it was not included later in the Prayer Book. The litany, however, which was based on that used during Rogation day processions, was essentially the same as its medieval predecessor, except that the invocations of the saints at the beginning were significantly curtailed, although not altogether eliminated. In the first Prayer Book of 1549 the invocations were completely scrapped and in this truncated form the litany has endured as a standard feature of any Prayer Book.

All of this changed when Edward VI, the boy king, came to the throne. Cranmer, by now a full-fledged heresiarch, could at last openly implement his hellish and foul agenda against the old, medieval religion in an attempt to turn England into another Geneva, but the old devil proceeded craftily. He knew he could not impose upon the English people a new religion at once, for the peasantry and a significant portion of the nobility still held to the faith of their fathers. So he went about changing the faith of his countrymen gradually. The first major step was the first all-English Prayer Book in 1549, a glorious gem of English prose. In it, Cranmer and his minions translated, edited, and simplified the medieval Latin liturgy (primarily the Sarum Use to be more precise) with which they had all grown up. As with all of its later descendants, the 1549 Book includes the entire Anglican liturgy (except the Ordinal) and from it all future versions of the Prayer Book derive, chiefly the 1662 Book and the various colonial Prayer Books.

In my next installment, I shall consider the 1549 Prayer Book in some detail and take this history up until the death of Cranmer in 1556.

Part I is, here.

What the new Missal translations ought to sound like...

As my continued series on the Anglican Patrimony is still being written, I thought some of my readers might care to read and hear aloud what glories neo-Cramnerian prose can do to the traditional liturgy. This morning, I received an email from a professor friend of mine at Ave Maria University who wanted me to translate an old prayer from the Rituale for the blessing of a soldier first going off to war (originally, as is clear from the wording of the prayer, off to one of the Crusades) into the idiom of the BCP. For those of you who read Latin, I include it also:

Deus, cunctorum in te sperantium protector, adesto supplicationibu nostris, et concede huic famulo tuo qui sincero corde gladio se primo nititur praecingere militari, ut in omnibus galea tuae virtutis sit protectus: et sicut David et Iudith contra gentis suae hostis fortitudinis potentiam victoriam tribuisti, ita tuo auxilio munitus contra hostium suorum saevitiam victor ubique existat, et ad sanctae ecclesiae tutelam proficiat; per Christum Dominum nostrum. Amen.

O God, the guardian of all them that put their trust in thee, mercifully accept our prayers and grant that this thy servant, who with heart unfeigned striveth to gird himself with a sword of battle for the very first, may in all things be protected by the helmet of thy might; and, as Thou of old didst grant the victory unto David and Judith against the face of the enemies of their race, so, defended by thine aid, may he arise in all places the victor against the rage of his foes and advance the safeguard of thy holy church, through Christ our Lord. Amen.

All of us literati must bemoan that the Pauline Missal is not now being translated into this sort of English, for if we are going to pray in English, it should (of course!) be this English, as I'll make clear in a future post. But we can hope and pray that when the Novus Ordo turns 80 (in Advent 2049) maybe translations like this will be mandated for Latin Rite parishes everywhere. A noble cause for which to pray, fast, and do penance!

What is the Anglican Patrimony spoken of by Pope Benedict? Part I

As an anglophile who has the highest hopes for the Personal Ordinariates envisioned by the Pope for the salvaging of all that’s good in Anglicanism and replanting it within the Roman Communion, a question keeps recurring among those Anglicans who are seriously contemplating taking the Holy Father up on his offer. In his Apostolic Constitution Anglicanorum Coetibus, Pope Benedict calls “the Anglican Patrimony” a “treasure to be shared” with the entire Church.(1) The difficulty for Anglicans, however, is that most are unsure what precisely “the Anglican Patrimony” (henceforth AP) is. Having discussed the matter at some lengths with some of the Anglicans and Episcopalians that I respect and having listened to the recordings of the latest conference on this subject that recently convened at Oxford University,(2) I would like to bring to your attention four possible, mutually enriching answers to this question. I encourage all of you who would like to pursue the matter further, to listen to the recordings of the conference in full to hear learned men with really posh accents bringing forth their answers to this question. In the meantime, here are the answers that seem to me to have the most validity:
1. The AP is a distinctive way of celebrating the liturgy which draws on The Book of Common Prayer for its inspiration and texts.
2. Closely connected to #1, the AP is the rich Anglican tradition of choral music.
3. The AP is a predominantly married clergy.
4. The AP is that position of privilege Anglicanism enjoys in England to re-evanglize and minister to society at large, afforded by establishment.
In my next few articles, I shall take up and analyze these answers in order. But do notice something astonishing first: Most Anglicans today are unsure what their patrimony is! Secondly, we should note that whatever answers we bring to the question, the Holy Father certainly has in mind elements of Anglican identity and practice that are compatible with Catholic (i.e. Roman) doctrine. Whatever is explicitly heretical in that identity and practice must be rejected, whatever is orthodox may be imported, and whatever floats in-between must be analyzed by our theologians with a fine-toothed comb.
-------------------------------------------------------
Footnotes:
(1) Complementary Norms, Article 10, §1, §2; Anglicanorum Coetibus, III, VI §5.
(2) Available at http://www.theanglocatholic.com/2010/04/anglicanorum-coetibus-conference-presentations/

Why the Bishops hate Latin

I know it may sound strange to begin my second post with such a title, but a little squabble recently with a seminarian has proven to me (again) that, contrary to the express admonitions of the current Code of Canon Law, most bishops do not want their priests to know Latin. But first let us consider what the Church specifically dictates regarding the matter:

Can. 249 - Institutionis sacerdotalis Ratione provideatur ut alumni non tantum accurate linguam patriam edoceantur, sed etiam linguam Latinam bene calleant necnon congruam habeant cognitionem alienarum linguarum, quarum scientia ad eorum formationem aut ad ministerium pastorale exercendum necessaria aut utilis videatur.

My translation: In the program of priestly formation let provision be made that the students [i.e. seminarians] not only be carefully and thoroughly taught their native language, but also know well and by experience the Latin language; let them also have a suitable knowledge of those foreign languages, knowledge of which seems necessary or useful for their formation or for carrying out the pastoral ministry.

A few remarks regarding the precise wording of this canon are in order. The first thing to notice is that the Holy See envisions three kinds of language studies for seminarians: their native language, Latin, and other foreign languages necessary or useful for the priestly ministry. Because any language might theoretically be deemed “useful or necessary” for priests, there really is no limit to what a seminarian (or priest) might ask to study. More importantly, we can reasonably understand the Church to be stressing language study in a particular order. The top priority for future priests is their native language, then Latin, and then other foreign languages.

Now let us consider how universally ignored this canon is by the empowered. Do priests in the U.S. even know their native tongue? Given the low quality of sermons in most places with which one is regularly bombarded, we can tend towards the negative. Who learns the proper use of who and whom anymore? Dare I even mention the classical distinction between will and shall? Does anyone realize that the expression It’s me is grammatically incorrect? Perhaps the clergy should be more pitied than berated in this regard, for the translations of the Missal, Breviary, and Bible forced upon them for the past forty years have done nothing but vulgarize the speech of us all.

Returning to the details of Canon 249, we must note that seminaries ought to lay greater stress on Latin than on any other foreign language in the intellectual formation of seminarians. We now encounter the real lunacy of the post-conciliar Church, for who can imagine a bishop in the twenty-first century actually expecting his English speaking priests to know Latin better than any other foreign language, including Spanish? Not even the Jesuits know Latin that well anymore. (Pro dolor!) The chasm between the letter of the law and our daily lives widens when we consider the verb used to describe the sort of attention seminarians owe to the language that built Western civilization, callere. The verb originally meant to be callused with something and then came to mean to be skillful or versed in that something. By using this word, Canon 249 should give us the mental image of nineteen and twenty year old adolescent men in cassocks and Roman collars callusing their knees by genuflecting on massive tombs of Cicero while doing long-term damage to their eyes as they try to read the fine print of Lewis and Short under insufficient candlelight. Alas! As the current liturgical crisis has all too well taught us, said Canon takes 249th place on every bishop’s list of 100 things to do.

But why have things gotten to be as they are? The most obvious and superficial reason is that the priests of the Roman Rite no longer need Latin to go about their daily routine. If the Church never forces them to use an ancient and (mostly) non-spoken language, why should they bother learning it? Or rather, how could they when every opportunity has been denied them? At a deeper and more insidious level, however, is the grim reality that bishops do not want their priests to know Latin. In fact, the majority of bishops appointed before April 2005 probably hate it. This deep-seated desire to keep their priests ignorant has a two-fold cause to be discussed below:

A) “No Latin, no Latin Mass:” This one should be fairly straightforward. Young priests will not bring the traditional liturgy back into parishes if they cannot read and understand the text.

B) “Know Latin, Know too Much:” This is the real heart of the matter. Priests who have gone through the toil (Latin: labor) to make the Church’s language their own usually emerge with a thoroughly sharpened mind that enables them to read between the lines of the constant dribble of post-conciliar blah-blah-blah and episcobabble and reject it. Not only does a thorough knowledge of Latin predispose priests to reject what most of the bishops are saying now, it makes them impenetrable to claims and fallacies based on the “sprit of Vatican II” (not the Spirit of God), for they can actually read for themselves the texts of the Council. Make no mistake about it, those who can read the Council for themselves in its original language know it better, hands down, than anyone who can read it solely in translation. And that’s not all they know. They also have first hand access to a majority of the texts that have formed the Church’s magisterium for two millennia, and they know that those texts cannot be easily reconciled with the doctrinal novelties of the Council, especially those of Dignitatis Humanae. “Indeed,” assert our enemies behind closed doors, “keep them ignorant of Latin and they will have no choice but to believe that the Council means whatever we tell them.”

Of course, we must judge our shepherds mercifully. Why, after all, would they want classically trained presbyterates regularly spewing off quotations from Cicero and Pope Innocent III to the consternation and incomprehension of post-modern, pro-choice, we-just-want-to-sing-a-new-church-into-being, blah-blah-blah-loving Americanist congregations running around in Catholic drag? Can you imagine the toil and calluses to be suffered by a bishop in a diocese staffed by 150 Fr. Zuhlsdorfs? What about 150 Fr. Reginald Fosters? The solution, clearly, is to ordain only easily controllable men to the priesthood who know next to nothing and think they have some vague idea of the as yet unspecified, unculturally conditioned, post-modern meaning of O Salutaris Hostia from seminary Latin class. Let’s just hope that these men will one day learn enough Latin to mumble the Words of Consecration in more than just gibberish.

Some Reflections on my visits to Clear Creek

At Tancred’s suggestion, I have agreed to broaden the scope of the Eponyomus Flower to include entries of general Catholic interest that do not directly involve a news story. While a great many people find my insights provocative, I have never had the time or energy to keep a blog of my own. A few years ago, I sometimes contributed to the Cornell Society for a Good Time’s blog (www.cornellsociety.org) to usually pleasant results. Those of you willing to go through entries from years ago will find my contributions there under the name “Maximilian Hanlon,” which I shall continue to use here.

For my first entry, I would like to reflect upon my visits to Clear Creek Monastery, truly the future of the Church in the U.S. The first thing that catches the eye is its edifice. The monks there are clearly intent upon founding a monastery that shall last for centuries and have enabled a distinctively American kind of Catholic architecture to emerge. While it certainly possesses roots in Catholic Europe, this architecture is somehow also distinctively American, a rare combination indeed! The iron working on the doors is especially impressive, reminding one of The Lord of the Rings, and has inspired similar ornaments at Our Lady of Guadalupe Seminary in Nebraska.

More importantly, the architectural beauty one finds there is nothing less than a physical manifestation of the inner life and spiritual beauty of the community. Upon one glance, one knows that those monks are there to experience God and become holy through the twin Benedictine imperatives of ora et labora. I can breathe freely there, for by being absolutely faithful to the historic standards of monastic life as laid down in St. Benedict’s Rule, the community has utterly rebelled against the foul spirit of Vatican II (not the Spirit of God) which would have all Church institutions geld themselves so as to avoid offending modern man. Indeed, the monks at Clear Creek know two things all too well that have been almost lost through cultural amnesia: A) Modern man’s (henceforth “Brad Craven”) comfortable, infecund, economically stable, suburban life is not worth living; and, B) Only recourse to the Tradition on its own, sometimes scandalous and unpleasant, terms can save him. And so we come to Latin and the Liturgy.

Some French visitors to the monastery during my last visit complained to me that the chanting at Clear Creek is mediocre. While I am sure that by French standards they are correct, I must insist that it is the finest I have encountered in North America. “Super-reality” comes to mind as the best way to express the intensity of the Divine Office. Humbling oneself to chant back and forth the psalms as millions of Catholics across the ages have known and loved them plunges one into the timelessness of the Church. The realization quickly descends that this is the culture that saved Europe from the Dark Ages and gave us the West, this simple monastic culture of chanting the old psalms back and forth for four hours each morning followed by planting squash or washing windows or painting the side of a barn. Truly, terribilis est locus iste, truly this is the closest thing to paradise before the Great Divide.

All of this is just to say that the Liturgy at Clear Creek is truly living. To please some in Rome, they have made some adjustments to the traditional Missal. Whenever a liturgical office precedes High Mass (which happens almost every day), the prayers at the foot of the altar are dispensed with, as is the Last Gospel. Whoever presides at said Mass (be he Abbot or no) presides from the throne, where he intones the Gloria and Credo. Deacon and Subdeacon chant the lessons into a microphone, versus populum. The high altar can be circumambulated and all the monks “participate” by singing the full propers each day and by exchanging the sign of peace. In these respects, the conventual Mass wreaks of the Novus Ordo, but the changes are not all bad. On their own authority, without Imprimatur or Nihil Obstat, Clear Creek published its own “Supplement to the Roman Missal” last year, in which are found their textual deviations from the Missal of 1962. These include incorporating some of the prefaces from the new Missal as well as reconciling what can be salvaged from the new sanctoral cycle with the old. Again we can breathe free, exulting between the two extremes of modern liturgical shitiness and a petrified, stultified, and lifeless traditionalism. The result is men fully alive, rooted in their tradition but engaging the future, and truly flourishing.

It goes without saying that those of you, my readers, who are willing to escape the spiritual abortuary which is the post-modern world, should take refuge at Clear Creek at once. Although life for me would be easier as a monk, I have discerned quite a different call, the call to follow Christ my Master in his descent into hell. And make no mistake about it, the contemporary world is a contemporary hell, filled with men like Brad Craven. He likes Starbucks, listens to Hip-hop on his ipod, lives in the suburbs, derives economic security from his job as a paper-shuffler, thinks that unwanted kittens should have rights but not unwanted fetuses, has a master’s degree (although he does not know what ineffable means) and voted for President Obama. Brad, of course, likes all the Vatican II changes, thinks the Church just needs to “get with it,” and may attend Mass once or twice a year around an especially groovy coffee table disguised as an altar, but feels alienated by vibrant, young religious communities which are praying in Latin and therefore growing. I have the much more unpleasant vocation of trying to evangelize Brad and wake him up from his post-modern stupor. But perhaps you, should you be blessed with a monastic vocation and get to the monastery soon, may escape such people forever. Lucky you.