Thursday, December 31, 2015

How Many Light Bulbs?

Q. How many Anglo-Catholics does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One to change the light bulb, and two to hold the cope.

Q. How many Latin Massers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Change?!?!? I don’t read about light bulbs in the Council of Trent!

Q. How many Aristotelians does it take to change a light bulb?
A. As many as the celestial movers, a point the Philosopher unfortunately left unresolved.

Q. How many Calvinists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Only God knows and as many as God wills.

Q. How many Methodists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One to change the light bulb, five to set up a committee to discuss a commemorative plaque, and at least two to bring a dish to pass.

Q. How many Prayer-Book Anglicans does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One to change the light bulb and at least two to complain about how much better the last one was.

Q. How many Dominicans does it take to change a light bulb?
A. I answer that the requisite number of Dominicans can be demonstrated in five ways, all of which may be incomprehensible.

Q. How many Eastern Orthodox does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Just like everything else it’s a great mystery, but their beards might have something to do with it.

Q. How many Jehovah Witnesses does it take to change a light bulb?
A. 144,000. All 144,000

(The author invites his readers to add to this list in the comment section.)

17 comments:

Bless Me Father said...

Q. How many Jesuits does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None; as part of their option for the poor they've replaced all traditional light with the inner light of cosmic communion

Anonymous said...

Q. How many satanists does it take to change a light bulb ?

A. None. The darkness could not comprehend it.

Anonymous said...

Q. How many Cardinals does it take to change a light bulb?

A. It takes only a few to change this BoR, and we could have a new light of Faith.

Mary's Child Mariann said...

Excellent! Don't have one on this end...hospitalized and wishing many of these light bulbs when burned out had not been changed ... Merry Christmas and Blessed Solemnity of Mary, the Mother of God.

Sandpiper said...

Q: How many Mormons does it take to change a light bulb?

A: As many as the Prophet says, and if the new bulb is taken from the two year supply, it must be replenished immediately.

M. Prodigal said...

Q.How many Franciscans does it take to change a light bulb?
A. What is a light bulb? We make our own candles.

WiscTrad said...

Q. How many Novus Ordo Catholics does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Three! 1 to change the bulb. 2 to tell how much brighter the new bulb is than the old.

Maximilian Hanlon said...

Nice try, but light bulbs hardly constitute anything "traditional."

Bless Me Father said...

You mean light bulbs aren't yesterday's technology, an olde tyme answer to use of the power latent in electricity? I'd've thought the bulb one uses in one's house today, for instance, even the long lasting sort, is as 'traditional' in its form as using valves in wireless sets - rather than gutting them and replacing their innards with digital set ups (or dumping them). But, yes, MH, it was a shot in the dark, I missed -- Ooops, sorry there; I have to admit it, finding a Jesuit (who would bother to deal with anything so 'passé' as human-generated light as if worthy of consideration) isn't very likely today .. not at all, at all.

Anonymous said...

Don't forget the novus ordo mantra..OBEDIENCE!!!

Oakes Spalding said...

Q: How many Neo-Catholics does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Rather, they'll argue that the light level in the room really hasn't changed.

Jim Donovan said...

How many sedevacantists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. It's easy if you have an empty chair to stand on!

Tancred said...

You forgot something about penumbras. Jesuits LOVE penumbras.

Banální otec said...

When abba Hilarion was a young monk in the desert, his spiritual teacher told him: "The one thing, the Devil can't stand is when you make fun of him. He hasn't got a sense of humor." That, abba Hilarion later learned, is why he is depicted with horns and hooves.

And so the Sedevacantist also, once abba Hilarion has said: You cannot hint the smallest joke around them for they would become agitated like wasps if you walk past their nest.

This I have told you for your spiritual benefit.

Maximilian Hanlon said...

To my readers: This is not an appropriate forum for discussing sedevacantism. All inappropriate comments pertaining to it have been deleted.

Anonymous said...

Of course the comments were deleted.You can't have you readers reading the truth.

Tancred said...

Just mostly tired of people trying to use this as a platform for their delusions.