Monday, August 12, 2013

Sedevacantists and the “Sprit of Vatican II”

We continue with the next installment of our series on what the sedevacantist protestants, especially those who are aged and female, might actually believe. Our next segment tackles the personal history of Fr. Karl Rhaner SJ and seeks to explain why the Vatican II documents are so massive but seemingly say so little. 

Karl Rhaner, the dissenting heretical pseudo-theologian who was a peritus at Vatican II, was really possessed by the restless soul of a slave woman named Nini from the American south. Back in 1869 Nini was lynched by the KKK for being “an uppity negress." Because she was hung from a tree she really hated trees, and saw Rhaner as her way of destroying the rain forest. 

Let me explain. This Titchaba spirit got Rhaner to help produce the most loquacious Council in the history of the Church: Vatican II, printing massive amounts of paper containing things no one cared about and fewer would ever read. Of course, the world will never be the same primarily because so many trees had to be destroyed to produce the massive amount of paper to produce all these boring documents and commentary. To date, 17% of the rain forest has been destroyed to print Vatican II documents. Dignitatis Humanae and the subsistit of Lumen Gentium 8 are responsible for a full 6%. This explains why Vatican II and post-conciliar encyclicals keep getting bigger and bigger, using up more and more paper, but they continue to have less and less substance. 

Titchaba was also the Voodoo high-priestess of the god of nonsense-speak, so now that Rhaner's dead, she resides at Franciscan University of Steubenville in Christ the King Chapel only venturing out across to the auditorium when they have Renewal meetings or Scot Hahn talks so that whenever the charismaniacs there speak in tongues, it's really Titchaba giving forth pagan voodoo curses in her African speak. She also got Stuebie to promote the Theology of the Body because to do natural family planning you have to use a lot of cotton swabs to take the samples. This cotton is Nini's exaltation of her ancient work. Suffice it to say, she really likes aspirin too. Even to this day you can hear NNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEE --------------------NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE --------------------  TITCHA-BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! echoing through the Paul VI audience hall in the Vatican late at night. Nini the Titchaba spirit is the real "spirit of Vatican II."


Mick Jagger Gathers No Mosque said...

Dear Mr. Hanlon. Dr Hahn will be speaking at at local Parish in late August. I think I will buy a ticket just so I can ask him about this verse during the Q & A;

Luke 19:26,27 But I say to you, that to every one that hath shall be given, and he shall abound: and from him that hath not, even that which he hath, shall be taken from him. But as for those my enemies, who would not have me reign over them, bring them hither, and kill them before me.

Tancred said...

Mazaris in Hades comes to mind.

Maximilian Hanlon said...

I'm afraid that I am not witty enough to understand your critique.

Mick Jagger Gathers No Mosque said...

It was not a critique. My comment was in response to your wry comments about Dr Hahn and Steubenville.

I think I might just go to his talk and ask him about this verse and then listen closely to his answer as he tries to deflect from the obvious, and Traditional exegesis, for Jesus is talking about His enemies, the Jews, in verse 27.

Tancred said...

At least Scott Hahn doesn't unjustly attack Traditionalists. I'm told he wanted to go Eastern Rite.

Maximilian Hanlon said...

I prefer an allegorical reading: The enemies of Jesus are all those who refuse to recognize his Messiahship and divinity (Jews and gentiles alike). When they receive the Gospel, Christ's "enemies" are slain, because his enemies have become his disciples. In a derivative sense, Christ's enemies are also our sins and flesh which need to be destroyed.