Friday, June 14, 2013

Limericks


Sometimes even the LCWR can provide artistic inspiration:


There once was a sister named Sue,
Who didn't know what to do.
She took off her habit,
And married the abbot,
And said it was Vatican II.

And Sue, while teaching in pride,
To our children this nun would confide:
"It's only a meal,

And no big deal;
Develop the Goddess inside."

But soon Sue yearned to be free,
And so she went on a spree,
Now the abbot's her ex,
And she likes same-sex,
Approved, she says, by Vatican III.

And likewise Pray Tell:


There once was a liturgist named Ray,
Who would always forget to pray.
He took out the rail,
And one day will wail,
When Latin comes back to stay.

Cardinal Kasper:


There once was a Lutheran named Claude,
Who loved his heresy, so flawed.
He would not repent,
And to hell he was sent,
Because he refused to listen to God.

The author encourages his readers to contribute their own limericks on the thread. Share the love. Pass it forward.

24 comments:

Jay said...

Great! I love limericks - especially ones that poke fun at heretics!

Tancred said...

ROFL

Anonymous said...

Jay Boyd, Hope you'll come back around with one. You can be
good at it.

Anonymous said...

Tancred, I am the internet dummy who comes around here. Instead of asking you what it means
I looked it up. I don't roll on the floor as I am a female and a mother. I think it would be unbecoming. But I'm pretty good at laughing. And
I get some chances here. It's great.

Anonymous said...

Someone posted this anonymously about a two weeks ago at The Eye Witness (on this thread- http://theeye-witness.blogspot.de/2013/05/americas-vital-interests-defined.html )
It's not a limerick but I think it's in the spirit of the post and I found it quite funny.

Oh, my name is Irving Kristol
And my son his name is Bill
In my youth I followed Trotsky
But in truth I follow him still

But to say you are a Bolshevik
Would fill the world with dread
So please don't call me a commie
Call me a neocon instead

Yes, we are the neoconservatives
We rule the world says I
And that dumb goy we call Georgie Boy
Doesn't understand how or why

Oh we beat the wogs in Afghanistan
The fun has just begun
Comrade Trotsky would be proud to be
Known as a neocon

To Keep the goyim pacified
While watching their TV
We let them watch dumb Irishmen
Like Comes and Hannity

Bill O'Reilly and Chris Matthews
They will lick our boots and sigh
But to run the New World Order
No dumb Irish need apply

David Frum can excommunicate
Paleocons from National Review
For to be a neoconservative
Is to be one of a chosen few

Oh, we're marching into Syria
The fun has just begun
Comrade Trotsky would be proud to be
Known as a neocon

Comrade Trotsky and Podhoretz
Both believe in perpetual war,
And ever since Norman won World War III
He's calling this World War IV


David Brooks and Comrade Trotsky
Both believe in one world class
And if you don't want to be bourgeoisie
You can kiss David's middle-class ass

Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson
Support us on TV
While waiting to be raptured
Into pre-eternity

Oh, we're marching into Syria
The fun has just begun
Comrade Trotsky would be proud to be
Known as a neocon

Hammurabi's tablets got busted
During the looting in Iraq
But we're marching into Syria
Behind George Bush's back

They've got weapons of mass destruction
They got 'em from Saddam Hussein
they've to weapons of mass destruction
Let's all say it once again

They've got weapons of mass destruction
Oh, believe me, please believe
If you want to know just where they are
They're hidden in Tel Aviv

Oh, we're marching into Syria
The fun has just begun
Comrade Trotsky would be proud to be
Known as a neocon.
---------------------

Anonymous said...

An anonymous commenter at The Eye Witness posted this about two weeks ago on this thread.( http://theeye-witness.blogspot.com/2013/05/americas-vital-interests-defined.html )

It's not a limerick but I found it to be quite funny and I hope you find it keeping in the spirit of this thread.

Oh, my name is Irving Kristol
And my son his name is Bill
In my youth I followed Trotsky
But in truth I follow him still

But to say you are a Bolshevik
Would fill the world with dread
So please don't call me a commie
Call me a neocon instead

Yes, we are the neoconservatives
We rule the world says I
And that dumb goy we call Georgie Boy
Doesn't understand how or why

Oh we beat the wogs in Afghanistan
The fun has just begun
Comrade Trotsky would be proud to be
Known as a neocon

To Keep the goyim pacified
While watching their TV
We let them watch dumb Irishmen
Like Comes and Hannity

Bill O'Reilly and Chris Matthews
They will lick our boots and sigh
But to run the New World Order
No dumb Irish need apply

David Frum can excommunicate
Paleocons from National Review
For to be a neoconservative
Is to be one of a chosen few

Oh, we're marching into Syria
The fun has just begun
Comrade Trotsky would be proud to be
Known as a neocon

Comrade Trotsky and Podhoretz
Both believe in perpetual war,
And ever since Norman won World War III
He's calling this World War IV


David Brooks and Comrade Trotsky
Both believe in one world class
And if you don't want to be bourgeoisie
You can kiss David's middle-class ass

Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson
Support us on TV
While waiting to be raptured
Into pre-eternity

Oh, we're marching into Syria
The fun has just begun
Comrade Trotsky would be proud to be
Known as a neocon

Hammurabi's tablets got busted
During the looting in Iraq
But we're marching into Syria
Behind George Bush's back

They've got weapons of mass destruction
They got 'em from Saddam Hussein
they've to weapons of mass destruction
Let's all say it once again

They've got weapons of mass destruction
Oh, believe me, please believe
If you want to know just where they are
They're hidden in Tel Aviv

Oh, we're marching into Syria
The fun has just begun
Comrade Trotsky would be proud to be
Known as a neocon.
---------------------

Anonymous said...

Anon 14 June 3:06 PM, I too read this. I like it. And now
sure enough we're sending weapons to the Syrian rebels
whoever thy are. I'll never vote again. The is no lesser evil. The neo-Cons are evil.

Maximilian Hanlon said...

Absolutely!

Anonymous said...

If you're in to things that are newish
You're probably Vatican 2-ish
It's no place for Trads
A fetish for fads
Is a sure sign you're probably Jewish

Maximilian Hanlon said...

Mr. Griffin, your limerick is wrong. Orthodox and hassidic Jews would have nothing to do with a contemporary liturgy in any religion.

Anonymous said...

Check. A good one, Christopher Griffin.

Anonymous said...

Mt. Hanlon, You are brilliant. But as all brilliant
people, you don't know everything. You are right that these Jews are ritualistic. But it is true that
what rituals are based on is as important or in fact
more important than the rituals. You do not seem to know much about what their rituals are based on. This
is forgivable but they should not be continually defended by anyone, most particularly Catholics.

Anonymous said...

There once were some nuns on a bus
Who drove around causing a fuss
None were spring chickens
I think some were wiccans
Dear Lord please help all of us

Anonymous said...

There was an archbishop named Han*
The Latin Mass he did try to ban
He thought it was spectacular
To use the vernacular
And wound up reassigned to Iran

*Annibale Bugnini, in English the name Annibale translates to Hannibal

Anonymous said...

If Mr. Hanlon puts me on the committee, you are among the finalists.

Anonymous said...

Good one.

Anonymous said...

First Draft:
There is a man called A-hab
People call him an A-rab
Some of his brothers are wicked it's clear
those do we fear
But the other Semites good or wicked hold dear.

Anonymous said...

There's a high-prophile place they call Soho
It's teeming with what is called Homos
Tourists do come to join in the fun and tell everyone
that they even have their own special Mass. .
Pope Benedict said This is a Sin of a kind that indeed does cry out to Heaven.
He said Who's in charge around there? Tell him I nearly despair and this vulgar affair it must stop!
Cardinal Bertone said it's Nichols and indeed he did phone him at once.
Said that Red Hat you almost had on your head looks more
instead like the hat of a dunce.
So Archbishop Nichols although sometimes fickle
moved quickly to clean up this mess.
He moved the Mass round the corner to the Street of the
Farmer and said Now that's much better I guess.














Maximilian Hanlon said...

:P Try again.

Maximilian Hanlon said...

Please notice that limericks are poems with an AABBA rhyme scheme. To force some of you to observe the rules, do I need to threaten with my ruler?

Maximilian Hanlon said...

A+

Anonymous said...

You're right but it's tricky as I don't want to get arrested and I didn't finish kindergarten. Second Draft:
There is a man they call A-hab.
People say A-habs an A-rab.
Some of his brothers are wicked and it's they
we must fear.
But the other Semites we must always hold dear.

There, give up, I...

Anonymous said...

Mr. Hanlon, please not the ruler. It was my computer's fault
It wouldn't let me read what I'd written. IT JUST KEPT GOING
up and down and sideways. I know you won't make me stay after. And now this just look at this. Please don't suspend
me.

Anonymous said...

above that should read, they have their own 'Masses'.
Sorry, Moderator. Bye.

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